“Confidence is key.” You’ve probably heard this phrase a million times, but it couldn’t be more true. Confidence in yourself and your abilities really is a key factor in getting a lot of the things you want in life—the hard part is acquiring that confidence.
If you were to study someone who embodies confidence, there are probably some habits you’d be able to point out right away. Maybe it’s the way they speak, maybe it’s simply their posture and the way they carry themself. Either way, these are habits that you can adopt to become your most confident self. Here are the five habits of the most confident people.
They speak with authority.
One of the easiest ways to discover how confident someone is, is to listen to how they speak. If they sound unsure of themselves, that’s probably because they are. Confident people are the ones you’ll find speaking with certainty, while using very few filler words like “um” or “uh.”
Speaking with authority won’t happen overnight, so what’s the best way to work toward it? Practice, of course. If you have an important speech or a big meeting coming up, rehearse what you’ll say ahead of time. You could even record yourself speaking and then listen to it afterward to help yourself improve. This will help you catch yourself if you’re speaking too fast, you’re not talking loud enough, or you’re using too many filler words.
They’re great listeners.
We all know that feeling when we can really tell if someone is interested in what we have to say. They nod their head, maintain eye contact, and just seem very engaged in the conversation. This is a key sign of a highly confident person.
There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance, and you can usually spot the difference fairly quickly. Someone with confidence invites others to the conversation and truly takes their opinion and ideas to heart. Arrogance is shown when someone needs to be the center of the conversation and refuses to let others share their thoughts. If you want to radiate confidence, commit to being a listener.
They don’t compare themselves.
Leonardo DiCaprio once said, “Pay close attention to people who don’t clap when you win.” The ones who are secure in who they are never see a need (and frankly, probably don’t have the time) to compare themselves to other people. In fact, they’re usually the ones building other people up, making them feel important and celebrating their success.
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity, and to truly become your most confident self, you can’t let insecurity get in your way. Just like being a great speaker, this could take practice, especially because comparison is a reflex for some people. The most important thing to remember is that while other people have great traits, you have great traits too. We all shine when it’s our time.
They’re not afraid to ask for help.
One of the most common misconceptions is that confident people are these magical creatures who know everything and never have to ask for help. The reality? These are humans … and all humans need a little help sometimes.
This is another difference between confidence and arrogance. Arrogant people think they already have all the answers because they’re just that great. Confident people know that reaching their goals will require learning from the people around them. They understand that while they have their strengths, they also have weaknesses.
Not “fake it” ’til you make it, but “FAITH” it.
Don’t forget that the people who seem to be the most sure of themselves were just like you at one point. It is a mindset that is developed over time. It can also be linked to your identity: how you feel or what you believe about yourself and your value.
Until you develop your confidence and self-assurance, you can walk in FAITH and “borrow” the belief and confidence of another person you trust and respect. As we were building our business in the early years, we had little belief in our capabilities, lack of financial assets, and no business experience or formal education. The value of our mentors’ confidence in us was invaluable.
Have you ever heard of the Superhero Pose? This is the one where a superhero stands with their legs apart, their arms on their hips, and their elbows bent. Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy gave a TED Talk on this stance to prove the point that body language has the potential to change the way we see ourselves. She said that standing in a “power pose” like this superhero posture can make us feel confident, even when we aren’t. The next time you’re feeling anxious about something, try standing in this posture for a couple minutes and see if it makes you feel any different.
I (Brad) have always said, “Stand if front of a mirror, and speak positive affirmations about yourself. What you want to positively visualize happening in your life physically, emotionally, financially, in your relationships …”
The power of the spoken word can rewire your subconscious and the limiting beliefs you have come to believe about your past, your present, and your future.
The most confident people out there share some similarities. Knowing what these similarities are so that you can try to incorporate them into your own life is a great step toward being more confident.
Looking for more inspiration to better your life? Read our blog post on three quotes to live your life by from Dr. Caroline Leaf.